we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
