So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
