i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
