"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
