I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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