we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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