i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
