That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
