Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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