i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize