At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
