I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
