apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
