i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
