i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
