gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
