You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Randomize