i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
