There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
so let's talk penis.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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