I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
