I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
