So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
