Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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