But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
