and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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