I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
