They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just had sex on a roof
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
