So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
