just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
