this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i think i just lost a toe
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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