There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
