I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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