Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
do herpes really smell.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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