They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
