My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
