I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
