Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
