if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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