I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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