ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
