Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
