She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
