this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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