There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
