Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
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