Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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