Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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