last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
