You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize