I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
