Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
