it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
No stitches, just platelets and will power
it's like iHOP with fire
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Your cock deserves a montage
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
