I bet he comes in French.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
