Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
