He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
