I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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