I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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