i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
