I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
We left the knife in your bed.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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