I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
