You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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