all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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