My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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