so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
