Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.

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(240): View more from Maryland

We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better

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(850): View more from Florida

My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.

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(847): View more from Illinois

You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day

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(816): View more from Missouri

I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots

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(206): View more from Washington

Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.

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(585): View more from New York

The uberlube is also flammable

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!

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