you turned your livingroom into a bong?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
